I have been longing for being a father since one year. Each month was a frustration and I began to doubt on my own fertility. Pressure for baby began to mount from everywhere. My father alarmed me’ you are getting too late’. My mother- in- law was like, “Still no baby, why?”. My sisters use to sigh, “ Aah, we really want to see our nephew”. And for my mother I was alright. ‘Don’t worry, there are many girls out-there. You will re-marry! Lol!
In our culture there is no such privacy among close relations. So everyone just jumps into.
I was making my mind to go under medical scrutiny to check whether I can be father or not. In the second phase I was thinking my wife to go for the same procedure.But one of the doctors I know suggested me not to worry as its normal that we are taking time in conceiving child. Two years are not a big deal, she said.
But Thanks to God, my wife told me this good news yesterday. This was the one of the most joyous moment of my life. I felt as if my reason for coming in this world accomplished.
Scientifically speaking – my genes have transferred themselves into my baby. I will live this way for coming generation even if I die. Lets go some more deeper. Half genes will be mine and half of my wife. In our genes, my genes are half from my father and half from my mother. Same for my wife’s case. So the upcoming baby is half me and half my wife. A bit genes from our parents from each side. 🙂
Soon I thought about our baby. Happiness doesn’t come in pure form neither sorrows. We get both happiness and sadness in a mix. I thought about what future I am giving to my new baby? – I am still struggling to make just ends meet. But then I consoled myself that time never remains the same.
I have thought to keep some money aside to meet medical expenditures which are likely to occur during this pregnancy phase. My wife will get treatment as of any rich woman- I promised to myself.
I noticed one another thing. She is feeling more secure and attached toward me after conceiving baby. I talk to her for a good length of time. I explain her all the theories that I already know and that I Google time by time. I want her to know in advance what changes she is expected to go through.
I told her that its likely that you will feel sudden anger – without any reason. So when she yells at me I say- “I understand you are going through such phase so it’s ok. By being conscious, she also is behaving well under these harmonica changes phase. First she was afraid that how she will manage but now she understands that only by conscious efforts she can overcome all her fears.
I am also being self-conscious. I am trying to quit smoking because its really injurious to health and I want to live longer – for my baby and my wife. I want to see my child more stable, educated and self-dependent than me.
I also know that Life and Death is in God’s hand but still its my wish to be with my family.
Today, we both visited gynecologist and she assured that my wife is absolutely fine. She just have to conscious about her daily life. She should eat a lot of fruits and include milk in her regular diet.
This is something quite expensive feat but I will manage it anyhow. I bought some fruit and she asked me to have some from it. I said no- this is for you and my baby. I felt good. I felt like this is what a man’s real purpose is !. To give, to feed , to protect.
Now some future thoughts! I will not be bossing around my baby. I will try to befriend with him / her. My wife asked, what do you want ? A boy or a girl? I said it makes no difference. If the baby turns out to be the girl then you can understand that girls are always dad’s eye of the apple.
I want to be that close to my baby that he / she wouldn’t feel any hesitation to share anything they want. I know this the biggest problem that our kids don’t share their fears, trepidations and this affects their whole life. I will try to be an ideal father. 🙂
I told my wife that this period is very crucial and we both have to be very careful so that this phase may pass by safely. We don’t have to be afraid of all the complications – we just have to understand and learn so that we can face them.
In the end I am requesting you to pray in our favor. 🙂